Understanding adoption is essential for a youth to consent to participating in the Heart Gallery. If a child does not yet understand adoption, pause the consent conversation and return once you have had age-appropriate discussions about adoption. This might mean working with the child’s permanency team to offer education and support. If you are unsure how to explore the adoption discussion with a child, you can also reach out to your supervisor for guidance.

Keep it simple and concrete: “The Heart Gallery is like a big photo album, both online and in different places in the community. It’s a way for kids to share their pictures and stories with people in the community. Your story just means sharing things you like to do and what’s important to you. Some adults look at this page to learn about kids because they want to adopt. If you’re on this page, they can learn about you too. Because the page is public, other people who visit the website can also see your picture and read your story.” Use visuals and real examples to make it feel more real and less abstract. This could include showing them the online Heart Gallery, as well as using the Heart Gallery Story Sharing Tool.

This is common, especially with younger children who want adult approval. It’s important to reassure them that there are no right or wrong answers. Let them know you want them to make the choice that makes them feel the most comfortable. Reassure them they will not get in trouble or upset you regardless of what they choose. You can say: “This isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want. It’s okay to say yes, and it’s okay to say no.”

This usually signals discomfort, uncertainty, or a lack of trust. It’s not true consent. Slow things down, and create space for conversation. Try asking, “Sometimes when people say that, it means they’re not sure or don’t feel like they have a real choice. Can I explain things in a different way or answer any questions you might have?” You can also offer to revisit the conversation later or break it into smaller parts. Consent is clear and informed, not passive or dismissive.

Participation in the Heart Gallery is always the child’s choice. We do not want the youth to feel pressured by caregivers, siblings, caseworkers, CASA, or legal professionals who want them to say yes. Participation is voluntary. Mixed messages can be confusing especially if some adults frame it as optional while others imply it is necessary to get adopted. It’s important to align the whole team on using consistent, youth-centered messages about participation and choice. You can acknowledge the good intentions behind others’ encouragement while still supporting the child’s decision: “I appreciate that you really want them to have every opportunity because you care. At the same time, it’s important they feel comfortable and in control of the process. That’s how we build trust.” You can also meet with the child one-on-one and reinforce their right to make their own decision. Remember, the Heart Gallery is just one tool among many.The Heart Gallery is only one form of adoption recruitment. If a youth opts not to participate in the Heart Gallery, you have other options available to use.

That’s completely okay. Consent can be changed at any time, even last minute. Let the child know they get to decide if they participate, and you will respect their decision. It’s okay to explore their uncertainty, if they feel comfortable. Exploring new worries they may have developed will help them feel more comfortable and build trust with you. It’s also important to know, the Heart Gallery photographers will not proceed with taking photos if the child declines. You can always reschedule at a later time if they change their mind.

Consent is revocable, meaning it can be withdrawn at any time. If a youth asks to be removed from the Heart Gallery, notify your Heart Gallery contact as soon as possible. Reassure the youth that their choice will be honored and handled timely. You can say: “Thank you for telling me. I’ll take care of it and make sure your photo and story are taken down. You don’t have to explain why, but I would love to hear your thoughts if you want to share them.” If they have worries they want to explore, you can do that with them. Consider using the Three Houses Tool, if developmentally appropriate. A youth can always ask to be featured again. If they withdraw their consent, and they are removed from the Heart Gallery, then decide they want to be featured again, notify your Heart Gallery contact. Reassure the youth that their choice will be honored, and they will be featured again on the Heart Gallery.

This could reflect misunderstanding, grief, or loyalty to their biological family. It’s helpful to ask open-ended questions to explore their feelings: “Can you tell me more about what makes you feel unsure?” It’s okay for youth to have mixed emotions. The Heart Gallery can be one part of their story. It doesn’t have to mean they are  fully ready for adoption right now. If they agree to participate and understand what that means, you can still proceed. 

Let the youth know they have a say in which photos are used—or if any are used at all. If possible, let the youth see their photos at the photo shoot to make sure there are some they want to use. If they do not see any they like, they will have the opportunity to take additional photos while they are there. If the photo shoot has already taken place, give the youth time to review the photos and think it over. Offer to schedule a reshoot if they are adamant about not using any of the photos: “We can try again when you are ready. “ We want youth to feel good about how they are represented. 

This is not uncommon, especially as youth have experienced repeated changes and uncertainty in foster care. Their hesitation is often a form of self-protection, a way to hold on to safety and control. Reframing Heart Gallery participation as hope with boundaries, instead of hope that could lead to disappointment, helps protect their emotional well-being while keeping the door open for connection. Be gentle and validating in your response: “That makes sense. A lot of kids feel the same way. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means we haven’t found the right family for you. Saying yes to the Heart Gallery doesn’t mean you’re saying yes to adoption. It just means you’re open to being seen. You get to decide what feels okay for you.” Continue to explore these feelings over time, as they feel comfortable.